Isn't it weird how you can find out news that takes you seconds to hear and days to process? Well that's kinda where i am right now. Sometimes you aren't prepared to hear the words that someone has to tell you. Almost to the point where you have to put the thought off until a later time when you can really sit and think about it because your brain is spinning a million miles an hour.
Last Friday i received a phone call that caused me to have one of those moments. I sat on my brothers couch in his room speechless as i listed to Lydia tell me that Kayla had been diagnosed with cancer. At first i didn't believe it, i just kept asking if she was sure. I'm known to be quite the little optimist so the next thing i said was "It's all going to be okay." But right after those words came out of my mouth and my ears heard i thought "...but what if it's not." I hung up the phone, walked up the stairs, and basically collapsed on my kitchen counter. You always hear stories of people your age finding out they have a deathly disease and think how terrible it is, but you never think it would be your best friend.
Just a few days before this i had told Lydia that she shouldn't worry about Kayla because i had an unexplainable peace about the situation. I thought the peace was that whatever was wrong with Kayla would be nothing serious and an easy fix. But thinking back on it, i think it was just a peace that Kayla is going to be okay. I still have that peace, and i have total faith in The Lord to restore Kayla to perfect health. It doesn't make sense when these kind of things happen, and it makes you want to start questioning Jesus. It is one of those times where you begin to doubt the Lord's plan and think everything is going wrong. You feel like He's made a mistake and He just doesn't understand. But what we don't think about is how truly WE don't understand. He has such bigger plans for Kayla then she had for herself. I've heard Kayla's plans for life a million times, and i'll be the first to tell you she dreams big. She had big plans that were good for the rest of her life, but God had HUGE plans that were GREAT. Through this experience Kayla and everyone behind her are not only going to learn how to fully rely on God, but she is going to come in contact with so many people she would have never laid eyes on. I know that the plans God has for Kayla to change so many people's lives are even more than my brain can process. I can not wait to see how he uses this season in her life for the good.
Now i'm not saying that every step of this journey is going to be fun, or even joyful. But i know that even when times are bad, God is good. Some days it is much easier to say that than others, and right now i'll be honest, its not easy. But i am trusting and i am putting all of my hope in the One who holds the world. I have no doubt that He will bring great things out of this, and guide Kayla through it holding her hand every step of the way.
