abundantly.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within." (Ephesians 3:20)


abundantly.

that word speaks volumes over me today.

in the last (almost) three months i have seen this verse come to life on several different occasions.

at the annual sozo dinner this past Saturday i watched over $50,000 be fundraised in front of my own two (tear filled) eyes.

in uganda this summer, i watched a group of teenage boys who were raised in the muslim faith, put their trust in Jesus.

in my own life, i have seen wounds be healed that i though would hurt forever. that i thought would sting every time someone reopened them

i serve a God who can do and will do abundantly more than i could ever dream up myself.

i serve a God who laughs at what i have planned and thinks to Himself how much greater He can do.

so as i sit here, writing this, with a big cup of coffee and spoonful of peanut butter, i wonder what my next year (or five years) will hold. i wonder how Uganda will effect my plans and the remainder of my life. i wonder if there will ever be a time where the memories i made this summer won't haunt me because of how the serious the effect those people, that culture and that brown mud had on my heart. somehow in that sea of thoughts I'm brought back to one word.

abundant. abundantly more.

let go of your worries. let go of your five year plan. let Him do what He does best, abundantly more.

home [and all that comes with it]

home. i'm home. 

it's strange and confusing and good and hard, but i'm home. 

unexplainable. that's the only word I can muster up when I'm asked the somewhat dreaded question "how was Uganda?"

silence. unexplainable. I don't even know. it's hard to explain because Uganda was everything. 

it was beautiful in the most heart breaking way. it was terrifying in a way that made you feel safe. it was exhausting and a breath of fresh air all at the same time. 

it broke me down and built me up all together. it stripped away ugly parts and things that I secretly clung to and revealed new things that I didn't even know about myself. 

I'm a new person, in a sense, and it's all thanks to Africa. but here I am, sitting on my bed in America. but you see here is where the challenging part starts. I have to take these new pieces of me that I formed in Uganda and the lack of things I once had but left in Uganda and figure out what that looks like in America. life doesn't change just because you do. 

for now, I'm clinging to the hope Jesus gives me. I'm clinging to the people he put on my journey beside me. what a good God he is to have let me have 15 other people who fully understand. I'm clinging to the truth that I'm just as called to be in America right now loving on people as I was called to be in Uganda loving on people this summer. I'm clinging to the fact that God knew I would struggle once I was home yet he still thought this was exactly where I needed to be.

he is so good even when life is hard.

I'm going to leave it at this: Uganda was exactly what God wanted it to be. and it was indescribable in the best way. it was sensory overload and I learned more in those 65 days than I have in the previous 20 years.

 

Uganda was good. so good. 

better than before

one massive thing I've discovered about myself amongst the two billon others in the last fifty days is I'm extremely relational. i just want to be with people I love. I don't care if we're driving down the road singing an overplayed song, binge watching Netflix or cooking breakfast for dinner, I just want to be with people. it makes me feel alive. 

people are the best medicine. so often the way God chooses to heal us is through people, and I think that's beautiful. he could easily snap his fingers and decide he wants us to be brand new. sure, that would work and he would get the glory. but something tells me it just wouldn't feel right. instead, he sends us people that he has perfectly equipped to help heal us. these people don't come with hypnotic devices & over priced oils to soak you in, however they might come with addictive laughs & overpriced coffee. you start doing life with somebody, and I mean real life where you cry, laugh and word vomit all your problems to them, and before you know the pieces start coming back together. you start realizing that you're more you than you've been in months, maybe possibly years. and you start noticing that things inside of you are fixed that you never knew were broken. 

community in itself is so crucial. there is something about realizing you're not in this alone. there is something about knowing if you wake up at 3 am upset, you have a phone number to call that you know will have an answer on the end of the line. or knowing I can lean down to the bunk under mine practically in tears and Rachel will scoot over to make room for me. I wake up every morning to someone hugging me and another bringing me coffee because they know how to love me. I get ready in a bathroom the size of my closet with 8 of my closest friends. and sometimes it's difficult, sometimes I can't find my hairbrush for days or I'm out of toothpaste because what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. but at the end of the day, we're community. and it's a beautiful thing. I wouldn't trade these days for all the money or cadeburry chocolate in the world. I'm learning about myself. I'm learning about others. I'm learning about the heart of my father and the way he loves me in such little ways. 

in 12 short days I'll be sleeping in my queen size bed. Abbie won't be above me and Rachel won't be below me. I'll never have to worry about not being able to find my favorite shirt or lack of bobby pins. I don't like to think about it, but it's reality. 

but my mission trip can't end when my feet touch American soil. in fact my mission trip can't ever end. I must take every memory, moment, lesson, smell and taste with me or what was the point? to have cool pictures and good story to tell? absolutely not. I'm never going to unsee the things I've seen. or unlove the people I've loved so radically. I have to take this with me. I have to apply it to my everyday, American lifestyle. 

these 9 weeks have impacted me in ways that someone who wasn't here won't ever understand. and thats okay, just know that I've learned about myself, learned new skills, learned I can have more love for complete strangers than I ever thought possible. but most important remember that I've learned that Jesus is so good to his children. I've learned he speaks to us in things as little as the way the wind blows the dirt or the way the valleys are so green or through a toothless grin of a little babe out the window. I've learned that this life I'm living is so much bigger than me and the career I decide on or who I spend time with. my life is just a very small piece of God puzzle, and probably not even an end piece. probably one of those pointless middle pieces that can be done without. but God didn't do without me. he created me, not because I'm needed but because he wanted me. and not because I'm gonna change the world all by myself but because I play a small role. and that's the beauty of it, my friends. 

so here I am, days away from kissing this beautiful country goodbye. tears of all types fill my eyes as I type this. Tears of thankfulness, excitement, devastation, anxiousness expectation and nerves. Uganda I pray I will see you again soon, thank you for leaving me better than you found me. 

Uganda, Here I Come!

Hey friends, 

I have some very very exciting news to share with you. This week things have fallen into place for me to be able to go back to Uganda, Africa over my spring break. I will be going back with the same ministry (Sozo) that i went with just a little over a year ago. I'm so excited that my heart can barely contain itself. Last time i was in Uganda i was touched by God and by the people there in a way i will never get over. I am so thrilled to see what the Lord has in store for this next trip. I will be staying with the same kids i stayed with last time and the thought of getting to finally see them face to face again almost brings me to tears. 

So here is where i need your help, i have to raise around $1800.00 for my flight and trip expenses. First off, if you have any thing that you would like to donate to me to auction off to help me fundraise that would be so helpful. But if you pray about it and are lead to give to me finically i would be so grateful as well . Lastly, even if you have nothings to donate or give your prayers are what i need most. Please pray for my safety, for my heart to be open to what God is showing me, and for the people that i will be encountering. 

Please feel free to contact me about any items you would like to donate or mail me anything else. 

My email address is lexiebice@gmail.com

My address is 1013 Tall Oaks Circle, McCalla Al 35111

My trip dates are March 15-23! I can not wait to share pictures and works of the Lord after i arrive home. Below are some picture from my last trip, enjoy! 

Thank you so much! 

A wakeup call.

I'm gonna go ahead and start this post with pointing out and admitting that i am not a reader. I am not one of those people who just cant put a book down until it is finished. A book has to be something i am truly interested in for me to even enjoy it. And yes, i know that is not ideal and reading is something that i should love, but it's just not. I often tell myself i was not wired that way and i will never enjoy it. But my mother constantly pushes me to be 'a reader' because it can be very beneficial. 

Now with that said, Kayla gave me a book for my birthday called  Love Does. I gave her a funny smirk across the breakfast table as i opened my gift. She knows me better than most people, which means she knows i don't read for fun. But she assured me that she had heard great things about this book and it was about Uganda and loving on people so she thought it might interest me. Well i finally picked it up today and read the introduction and first few chapters, and she was right. (Which shouldn't have surprised me.)

Today as i read through the pages of Bob Goff journey through life a phrase struck me. 

"Jesus told the people He was with that it's not enough to just look like you love God. He said we'd know the extent of our love for God by how well we loved people."

 I read through the phrase 3 times saying it out loud, talk about a wakeup call. People don't base how much i love my Savior by my church attendance record or how fast i can do Bible drills. But they base it simply off how i treat them and others. As i started replaying the past couple weeks in my head i know that i have hurt people and not really even thought twice about it. And because of my careless acts people might have changed the amount they believe that i love Jesus. It's easy to read that and think "Well i'll do better next time." But i ACTUALLY want to do better next time, i want to be more aware of my words and my actions. I want for people to hear my name and not be able to say a bad thing about me. Not for my own pride but for my love my precious Savior. 

I challenge you to do the same thing. I'm not asking anyone to sacrifice anything major or become someone you're not. I just want you to think things though before you say and do them, and ponder how it will make you love for Jesus look.   

When times are rough, He is still good.

Isn't it weird how you can find out news that takes you seconds to hear and days to process? Well that's kinda where i am right now. Sometimes you aren't prepared to hear the words that someone has to tell you. Almost to the point where you have to put the thought off until a later time when you can really sit and think about it because your brain is spinning a million miles an hour.

Last Friday i received a phone call that caused me to have one of those moments. I sat on my brothers couch in his room speechless as i listed to Lydia tell me that Kayla had been diagnosed with cancer. At first i didn't believe it, i just kept asking if she was sure. I'm known to be quite the little optimist so the next thing i said was "It's all going to be okay." But right after those words came out of my mouth and my ears heard i thought "...but what if it's not." I hung up the phone, walked up the stairs, and basically collapsed on my kitchen counter. You always hear stories of people your age finding out they have a deathly disease and think how terrible it is, but you never think it would be your best friend.

Just a few days before this i had told Lydia that she shouldn't worry about Kayla because i had an unexplainable peace about the situation. I thought the peace was that whatever was wrong with Kayla would be nothing serious and an easy fix. But thinking back on it, i think it was just a peace that Kayla is going to be okay. I still have that peace, and i have total faith in The Lord to restore Kayla to perfect health. It doesn't make sense when these kind of things happen, and it makes you want to start questioning Jesus. It is one of those times where you begin to doubt the Lord's plan and think everything is going wrong. You feel like He's made a mistake and He just doesn't understand. But what we don't think about is how truly WE don't understand. He has such bigger plans for Kayla then she had for herself. I've heard Kayla's plans for life a million times, and i'll be the first to tell you she dreams big. She had big plans that were good for the rest of her life, but God had HUGE plans that were GREAT. Through this experience Kayla and everyone behind her are not only going to learn how to fully rely on God, but she is going to come in contact with so many people she would have never laid eyes on. I know that the plans God has for Kayla to change so many people's lives are even more than my brain can process. I can not wait to see how he uses this season in her life for the good.

Now i'm not saying that every step of this journey is going to be fun, or even joyful. But i know that even when times are bad, God is good. Some days it is much easier to say that than others, and right now i'll be honest, its not easy. But i am trusting and i am putting all of my hope in the One who holds the world. I have no doubt that He will bring great things out of this, and guide Kayla through it holding her hand every step of the way.

Patience.

Why is it that it is the hardest to listen to what God has to say when things aren't going how you want them too? Is it because you don't believe what He is trying to tell you is true? Is it because you are impatient and feel like He is wrong? Or maybe is it because you know He's right and you don't want Him to be?

For me it is definitely the last one. When things are out of hand and out of my control i panic a little. I think to myself, this is not how this should be going. But when i open my Bible and Jesus sweetly speaks to me and says "I've got this under control, my plan is greater." it makes me relieved yet hopeless at the same time. I am relieved because i know by looking at my past that His plan is truly greater. But i feel hopeless because i can't change anything He is doing, and i have to be patient. And yes, i know in the end i will be extremely grateful that He is in control of my situations, but right now i can't see the end. Right now all i can see is being in the middle of a wonderful plan that looks like a tornado at the moment.

When i feel this way i always do the same thing, pray for patience. You have to be careful praying for patience though, because He's gonna give you a reason to have to be patient. But i feel like if you have patience you will have so much more joy in your life. Without patience you are always look at what's next, and ready to take on what is ahead as fast as you can get it. But what you don't realize at the time is that you're breezing through where God has you now. And you very well could be missing things that He placed in your story for a reason. So if you can live for the moment and be thankful for where you are now, and not worried about what tomorrow holds you will enjoy life a lot more. Promise.